Merry Christmas

While I try to gather enough momentum to keep me travelling ‘til Christmas my mind has already wandered into next year. I started mapping out my writing goals for next year in October. Over the last week or so I have been reviewing how this year has gone, whether I can actually achieve anything further in the last little bit of this year and thinking about where I hope to be this time 2012.

I have found over the last few weeks that I have been getting progressively fatigued with every passing day. But then I haven’t had a proper holiday since Easter, so I think my body, and mind, are trying to tell me something. Then this past weekend my daughter was ill, really ill, vomit up the walls kind of ill, and before I knew it I had lost another two days (that does sound a little uncaring, but I wasn’t thinking of anything but her, until it was all over and I was washing vomit off everything).

So in the calm and quiet of my study this morning I really looked at my list for this year and thought about what wasn’t quite there yet and what I could do over the next two weeks. I can finish the novel I had hoped to read this month. My Masters work is actually travelling along well, and I’m not where I wanted to be with my fantasy draft but it’s not too far off.

I have ticked off some things this year which has been very rewarding and satisfying, not just for the tick (I love ticking things off lists) but because I have completed these huge tasks. Among them was completing a novel writing course, completing a novel (that should probably be first), and submitted to a publisher and been rejected (as every good writer should be on the first attempt; not sure I’m good but it gives me hope).

Now I am refining what I want to do next year and what I need to do to meet my long term goals. The list doesn’t look that long really, but they are big tasks and I’m still working full time so I want to be realistic but challenge myself a little at the same time.

In no particular order here are my writing goals for 2012:

·         Journal/blog twice a week (once a week has been going reasonably well; time to push it up a bit).

·         Prepare my current fantasy work for publication.

·         Continue the attempt to get novel number 1 published.

·         Write first draft of next manuscript – probably first in the trilogy; other ideas haunting me but trying to ignore them for the present.

·         Write every day (essential).

·         Read at least 12 novels (still a huge pile beside the bed; still avoiding bookshops in fear of buying more).

·         Create a folio of writing – this is a maybe, wouldn’t it be lovely goal; but if I don’t get the time it will drop off the list.

So I’m excited and keen; after I’ve had a little break. I am having holidays from my day job over January. This will mean some more me time, and some quality time with my daughter. I am also continuing my study over the holiday period. There are other non-writing goals I have for the coming year and others I have managed to tick off this list for this year and some not quite there; but I think 2011 has been one of my most productive years yet.

The main reason for this is that I finally decided that writing is what I want to do, no matter what else is happening in my life or what others say. And that I have made that dedication to it, that I write (almost) every day and even when it is hard I know it is what I love. Sitting and losing myself in a story for an hour or so a day is what makes me complete. I hope that one day I can do that more and more; to the point I can spend the day writing and not have to worry about the day job because the two will become one.

I am taking a little break from blogging over the Christmas period – I’ll be back the week after (twice if all goes well).

Have a joyous and safe Christmas and New Year. I hope your New Year resolutions are already well thought out and written down.

Happy Scribbling

First Draft Struggles

I have been struggling a little this week to continue with the drafting of my fantasy novel. It was going along well and I think improving with every scene. But the problem is I’m not sure how to end it. I am getting close to that point, very close. I know that my main character wins the day, defeats the bad guy and finds inner peace and happiness, well, kind of. But I’m not clear on how she wins the day or exactly how she defeats the bad guy. It is during battle, I’m building up to it, but I just can’t see her actually do it.

My frustration has halted all writing for this work. Sometimes I think that if I just sit down and start typing, when I get to that bit then it will come together. But as soon as I sit down I worry that it may not happen and I freeze up. Then the stress starts that I’m not meeting my word count and that I won’t have the draft finished when I want to. It’s a vicious cycle.

So I am trying to calmly think my way around this problem. Trying to focus on the ending is not helping so I have decided to leave it alone for a while. I know there are large gaps within the story to the point I have got to. Still thinking about it as a first draft I am going to go back to the beginning and read through the entire story so far as if I had finished the draft. I am hoping that this will help with my ending and will enrich the rest of the story. I will be able to mark out what is missing, what doesn’t work, ensure it is all in the same point of view and tense.

I did some experimenting as I went changing between first and third person – I preferred first but played with third – I’m settled on first person now. I also need to think about the tense. I had wanted to do something different and so had written in the present tense. This seemed to work for me, it gave the piece some urgency, helped the pace keep moving. As the character had come to this world from our known one, we could explore the world and its peoples and customs with her; as she discovered things so do we. I also played about a bit here and tried the past tense, it helped with some aspects but I lost others. A read through of the document as one story will help decide which way is working.

I can then spend some time adding to the gaps and by the end of that process have a clear first draft. I can then start with confidence and clearer image of the overall story on the second draft. I like to draft several times. My first novel I reworked/edited 5 times. And I’m sure there is still work that can be done to it. It also sounds a bit messy when mapped out like that. Working back and forth, writing all over the place. But it seems to work for me.

Maybe with my planning for the trilogy my writing process may change somewhat too. Another experiment. If all goes to the current plan I hope to start writing the trilogy in February next year. In the meantime it is all about sorting out this fantasy mess.

Happy Scribbling.

Planning

I am very good at planning my time, well I’m reasonably good at it. I like to know what I have to do and by when I should have it done by. Recently I have been detailing my writing projects in a work plan, like I do my day job tasks. But when it comes to planning out a story I have never employed the same tools.

I may have mentioned that I’m not so good at planning novels. I just start to write from an idea and see what happens. My current work is following this process quite clearly. I just write and although I have an idea of what I would like to happen, I’m not sure where and how it is going to get there until the words are on the page.

I have been reading about different planning techniques and was struck by one so I am giving it a go for my next novel. I am hoping the story will cover three books and I have mapped out most of the main characters and some of the minor characters. I have recently given up the kitchen door to map this out on an old white board. This way I can add to it and not worry about having to rub it off...at least for a while.

The planning technique that I am trialling takes the main characters viewpoints that the story will follow, an idea of how long the work is to be and how long an average scene is. Then taking this, divide the total length by the length of a scene to work out roughly how many scenes I will need. Then decide which characters get the majority of scenes. For example, my story is about three sisters so I want at least half of the book to be from their point of view, the rest will be split up amongst minor characters.

Then using index cards, count out the number of scenes for each character required. Starting with the minor characters viewpoints write out a one sentence idea for a scene do this for the number of scenes you have. Then start mapping out the plot, moving the cards around to work out the right order for the story.

This idea was given as a quick way of plotting for when you’re in a hurry and a bit stuck. But so far it is actually helping me a lot. I only had the first scene in my head for this story, now I have an idea of characters and as I map out the workings of the world more and more characters are coming to me. I haven’t started to put down all the scenes yet but as I think of one interaction between characters, it leads to others and more ideas of what could happen.

I am looking forward to the playing stage, where I can move the cards around and work out how the story fits together. I even have a blank canvas in the study door (pictured) where I plan to stick the cards when they are filled out.

I have found in the past that my characters run away with their own ideas and as they start to develop they don’t always agree with me as to how they should behave or act. So although this series will be well mapped out before I actually start to write it, I am sure that it may not necessarily follow that path, or they may be some changes, or deviations. And I’m ok with that. That, for me, is the joy of writing fiction.

Happy Scribbling

Critical Friendships

As I finish my first unit of my Masters, I have been thinking about the benefits of critical friends. And then the pros and cons of internet groups compared to face-to-face groups, for many of us this is going to come down to how as individuals we interact better with different groups.

Online critical friendships can be great in that you can take longer to look over comments and suggestions before you need to react. You can even go over them several times. Your work or the work you are reading/critiquing is written clearly in front of you and you can read over it several times to be sure that you have gleaned the importance and meaning of every word. But your critics are in some ways an unknown at the other end of a line somewhere. You can’t see their reaction, their initial response to your words. It takes time to get responses and queries answered.

I have found that I need to be sure that my critical friends are real people. In one of the first meetings I attended with my current group, my writerly friend had a short story that he wondered if it would elicit a particular response, but was not going to tell me what he hoped that response was. So he read and I patiently listened, allowing the words to wash over me and as he finished I reached for a tissue to dry my eyes.

‘What sort of response do you want?’ I blubbed.

‘That one is fine.’

It was a very moving story, and it gave him more to see my initial response to hearing it than he would have got if I had emailed with my response. I did read it again after some small edits, and it was emailed through, and I sobbed out loud at my desk. It’s ok, my work colleagues already think I’m nuts. But I could email back that it worked well, same response.

It is more direct to be sitting with a group of people. I find it more helpful to be able to ask immediately if something works or not, to ask how to improve it, such as ‘What if…if she did this…or that?’

Each group is different too and different ways work for different people. My current group like to read out their work for comment. I have belonged to other groups where we had copies of what was being read so that we could follow along, or it was emailed out ahead of time and we could just work through comments during the group time.

If you have the chance to join a critical friendship, think about what might work best for you and don’t be afraid to try something different. I prefer the face-to-face interaction but I’m learning the benefits of online friendships too.

Happy Scribbling.

Searching for something you already have

Some days I go in search of inspiration. I eagerly click through my favourite blogs hoping that today’s post will have some magical content to reconnect me to my flagging muse.

Sometimes I find it; sometimes I find it somewhere unexpected. Unfortunately this is not usually the case and I don’t find what I’m looking for out there. I need to find it in here. Generally I am able to sit at the computer every morning and bang out a good 1000 words without waiting for the muse to find me. But every now and then I need reminding that I am able to do this.

I am at that point today…searching. Sitting in my day job office I can hear a piano in the distance, a busker somewhere in the city playing. It is beautiful, the parts that I can hear, but I’m not getting all of it. I am straining through the noise of the traffic and shoppers, and the different pitches of the pedestrian walk. At times I can’t hear it at all and then several notes fight through the other noises to get to me. That is just enough for me to know that if I was to take a quiet few minutes I could possibly write something.

I did find a post about productivity – volume and output. Not just in words, but in the number of works. And it struck me that I may not be as productive as I could be. In fact I’m certain of it. I could be writing more often, I could be adding to my very poor list of finished works (currently at one) and increasing my chances of getting published. The more I write the better I get and so my chances improve.

If I am able to publish enough I can spend my whole day writing, not just thinking about writing. Then when I get home I’m generally too tired, time poor etc to write anything. Quite often I miss the window. I know I do. The house is quiet, the kids are settled and I think I could go now, I could get a lot done, but I wait and I potter with other things, and I watch just five more minutes of some rubbish on the box and then the window is closed and I couldn’t even if I wanted to. But if I had moved to the study the moment I had the thought then I would happily tap away at the keyboard lost in some wondrous world of my own making for an hour or two before it even occurred to me that I was too tired to be there.

For one of my courses I am currently between units, so I have a little less pressure this week. My aim it to spend the time that I was spending on study, on my writing instead.

Happy Scribbling

The Gardener

Over the last couple of weeks I have been very busy, again, or is it still? I am trying to do so much and it seems that the more writing I do the more ideas I get. So in an attempt to try and increase my sanity I have hired a gardener.

‘Wow!’ you think. ‘A gardener, oh for such luxuries.’

Or did you think, ‘Yeah, right. Her dad pops round with the mower once a week.’

We have to be so careful with our words to ensure that the right message is being passed on. So that readers fully understand the story that is happening in our heads. That transfer to paper can be a real killer for any story.

The truth of the above statement about the gardener is that I have hired a company to pop around on a regular (and depends on the season as to how regularly he does pop around) to mow the lawn and trim the edges.

It may not seem like much, but it was one of those little things that were starting to tip the scale on my sanity. I was getting more and more worked up that I couldn’t get it all done on my own. So I decided to focus on what I can do, what I want to do and outsource some of the things I can’t do. And it isn’t that I can’t mow the lawn. I’m one of those fiercely independent types constantly trying to prove that I can do anything I need to. It just means less stress. And I’m all for that.

The other little bugbear over the last couple of weeks has been the state of the house. Not that it was that bad, not a call in the ‘current affairs type programs’ to look at what she is inflicting on her children type of bad; just a little overwhelming. Piles of notes, books, ‘artwork’, ‘treasures’ found in a variety of places and carried home, study notes (not always in the study), novel notes (again not always in the study). So I spent some time moving things to where they should live and ruthlessly disposing of the rubbish hiding amongst the piles disguised as useful. Unfortunately my daughter has inherited my gene for “let’s hold onto that because you just don’t know when it will be useful, wanted, needed etc”.

I am now feeling calmer, cleaner and more on top of things. Less time stressing and more time writing. It is how the world should be.

Happy scribbling.

Truce

The cat and I have made a truce. We fight a lot, usually, and we are both to blame. Well. OK. She’s a cat and so it’s mostly my fault. But only mostly. I’m not taking all of the blame. My fault is that she spends too much time home alone.

I have had a super productive weekend. Two assignments completed, next week’s lectures and tutorials read and absorbed, next week’s tutorial assignment drafted.  There is still a lot I want to get done but I’m well under way.

Most of this I did with the study door closed. As soon as I opened it she was in, and on the keyboard, or nudging me and breaking my concentration. This was followed by yelling and removal of cat and door slamming and possibly some sighing.

I know, I can hear you saying it, she’s just a cat.

So, in a flash of brilliance, and I have those sometimes, I put her snuggle house on the desk. And it was like magic. She was straight in and sitting quietly and we were both happy. I could work uninterrupted and she could rest knowing I was just there, within sight.

Now how do I get the same with the child do you suppose?

Smelling the Way...

Every time I pour hot water over a Bushels teabag I think of my grandfather. Every single time. I am instantly transported back to the old kitchen, him sitting at the head of the heavy kitchen table stirring his sickly sweet, hot black tea.

I don’t have mine the same. In fact I have milk and only one sugar, where he had three. But that initial smell of hot tea is just the same. It makes me smile, some days it makes me sad and other days it is only part of a second that the thought is in my head but it still appears. It doesn’t happen with other brands of tea either. Only Bushels. It must have been the brand he drank, but I don’t remember.

Funny how the nose can be such a link to the past. That sense of smell.  My grandfather died nearly twenty years ago and didn’t live in the house I visualise him in for the last ten years of his life. Is there something significant about my early childhood visits to that house, or did he change tea brands when he left the old place?

I had a similar feeling this morning when I dropped my daughter at school. The main school building is a similar style to one of the primary schools I attended, although in a different part of Australia, but they all smell the same. Is it a primary school thing? Is it related to the red brick building or the children in it? And surely we were different kinds of kids to those of today?

Smell is so important and can lend much to our writing. A smell can evoke a feeling, transport us to our childhood terrors, or joys, or wonders. It can remind us of lives lost, loves lost and new lives given. I shall try to ensure my senses include smell in my writing today. And while I’m out and about I will try to see what else I can smell and where it takes me. Just thinking about where the two scents from above have taken me has also provided some ideas for stories. Where will your nose take you today?

Happy Scribbles

Time Poor

Do you ever get the feeling that you have taken on too much? Don't get me wrong, I love everything I am doing at the moment but over the last few weeks I have struggled trying to get everything done that I have wanted to. And so when something had to give, I'm afraid it was the blog.
It may not have been the best choice to go. But as the assignments, weekly submissions, lectures, tutorials, exercises, quality family time and the need to write daily piles up, somehow the blog fell off the list. "No one really reads it anyway," I may have comforted myself with at one point. And the only scribbles making it to the kitchen door at the moment are shopping lists and reminders for housework, and then I'm behind with the vacuuming.

I don't want to sound like I'm whinging. Because I really am enjoying all of my writing at the moment. We have set some challenging tasks for my writers group that have been lots of fun. My fantasy novel is moving along reasonably well, despite me not quite knowing how I am going to get to the end yet. I have some small changes/edits for my first novel to complete and that can be submitted to a publisher (that in itself is scary, exciting and pushed down the list a little). My Masters course is fantastic, I'm learning so much and even though some units are a little more challenging, I am loving every minute.

So, I have a heavy workload at the moment but not only am I enjoying the work I am doing at the moment, it is what I want to do, to get me where I want to be.

Happy Scribbling

It Only Takes 10 Minutes

Taking 10 minutes to jot down some ideas can be very useful when you don’t have as much time to come up with an idea or simply as a brainstorming exercise. This could be for blog posts, I recently listed 4 or 5 topics I could discuss with some dot points just to get me started; some short story ideas, different names or places. They may not be used straight away but they all help to jog the muse when she doesn’t want to play. There are times that I have ideas all week to blog about but when it comes to Sunday morning they all evaporate.  With some ideas already there it is just a matter of picking one and fleshing it out, or reviewing the list might spark another idea.

As part of this process I have started thinking about what I want to achieve with my writing next year. Not to start but just to think about things. What did I always want to do that I haven’t yet. What has been recommended as a good idea to improve my skills? What can I think of to improve my skills or productivity? Is it entering competitions, another course, joining a new group (maybe a readers group)?

On a recent lunch time outing I steered away from the bookshops, in case I saw something to add to my reading pile. And chances are high; I always find something I want. Instead I found myself in a wondrous shop filled with stationery. Another little problem of mine and of course I made a purchase.

My find was a handy planner, come note book, that fits easily in my handbag. I am using it to list all of my goals, annual, monthly, weekly, daily and measure how they are going. And of course these all relate to my long term goals.

Truth be told I am a planner anyway. I like to have an idea about what I want to achieve each but sometimes all the little stuff gets in the way of the bigger picture. I wrote recently about energy management and time management and they are important but it is also worth reminding yourself about the overall goal, the long term ones that you are doing the daily tasks to achieve to ensure you are on track and that they are still what you want to achieve.

I will review the ideas I’m mapping out for next year over the next few months to ensure they are working towards my long term goals and that they are reasonable and achievable. But I don’t want to spend the time I should be doing other things planning for next year. A friend of mine, many years ago, would spend all of his study time mapping out his study and in the end there was little time left to do any actual study.

Goal setting is a tool to help you achieve what you want to achieve, don't let it get in the way of the goals. A lot can be achieved in just 10 minutes.

Happy Scribbling

Energy Management

This morning I had a little sleep in. I didn’t mean to, I was awake at my usual time but I rolled over and the next thing was my daughter standing in the doorway calling out good morning. I’m also ok with that. I have had a productive week, I was tired and today, being Sunday, we are not racing off anywhere and I can follow my usual routine when I do decide to get up.

‘Wow,’ you think aloud. ‘Where is her angst, her guilt of missing a morning writing?’

Well, I’m not missing out on my writing time and I’m not sure everyone writes every day. I have found I need to. One, it keeps my writing flowing and reduces the chance of blocks. The second reason and but probably the most important is that I have to. I can’t make it through the day if I haven’t had time writing.

The secret to my new guilt free sleep in is I have recently discovered energy management. Well the discussion of it and it has validated those times when I am just too tired, emotionally or physically to do what I need to. That doesn’t just mean writing. There are times I don’t have the energy for reading, or cleaning, or cooking.

In one of my follow the links sessions from one of the blogs I read, I discovered Scott H Young (www.Scotthyoung.com/blog). Quite a clever young man and if you are a student he has lots of ideas and techniques to help you get the most out of your study and reading time.

I am very big on time management and have completed a range of courses to find the tools to help me maximise my time. And I try and squash a lot into my time. I’m a mother, working full time, now studying (and I have started a second long term course for work) and I want to write. So of course some days this all seems a bit hard.

The idea of energy management is being aware that we don’t have a consistent level of energy that operates 24 hours a day. It would be great, but it’s not possible. We need to think about when we have energy peaks and use them. But it also means we need to take the time to recharge our energy. That includes getting enough sleep and taking a little time out now and then when we need to. And not feel guilty about it.

So I am focused when I have energy, then when my levels are low, I can rest or do something else. I find ironing doesn’t take much energy for me and when my creative energy drops, I can take some time, catch up on ironing and on the TV I’ve been missing out on when I do have the energy to study of an evening.

Not only has this idea helped me with my time management and getting through what I need to in a day, it has helped me understand how others work. A friend of mine recently talked about someone he works with that writes music. This guy found it really hard to put all the energy he needed to into his job because he wanted to have the creative energy to write when he got home. At the time I had said that was rubbish. But now, maybe he can’t give that much energy to both aspects of his life.

It is an interesting idea energy management and I am determined to get a better understanding so that I can use it for good, and not for evil (such as excuses). More reading to be done I think.  Have a look at Scott’s website, it is full of interesting ideas.

Happy Scribbling.

Negotiating with Cats

 

I have this thing with the cat of a morning, she jumps up on my desk, works her way around the computer and tries so hard to look like she doesn’t care I’m there as she drops onto my lap. If she were to curl up and sleep then this wouldn’t be a problem. But she doesn’t, she nuzzles me for cuddles and pats, rubs her wet nose against my arm. Annoys the heck out of me until I guide her back to the floor and she either wanders off or starts again.

It use to be that I wouldn’t shut the study door in case I couldn’t hear my daughter if she woke or needed me. But she is nearly 6 she keeps reminding me (although nearly is actually 6 months away). And she can reach the handle and let herself in, loudly chastising the cat and reminding it that it can’t enter the sacred zone because “mama is working and she needs quiet”.

The fact that this is relayed in a loud voice, to a cat that cannot understand, is lost on her and as the flow is already interrupted I take a few minutes to cuddle with her and talk about what we will do for the day. Then she is happy to watch the cartoons and mama gets another half hour of quiet time, so the door will stay shut.

Sometimes I think the cat wakes her out of spite, because if she can’t play with me then someone needs to. But at least that is all I have to negotiate with, or work around for my quiet time at the computer, where I can lose myself in my writing, or concentrate on my studies.

My physical writing environment has been working well for some time now. Everything within reach, space to make it in, small heater under the desk so that fresh Tasmanian mornings don’t keep me from drafting. But the emotional writing space is just as important. And sometimes I have trouble bringing the two together.

Family can be a great support and if they need to support you by leaving you alone for an hour or two a day, talk to them about it. You don’t want to spend your writing time trying to negotiate with a cat.

Happy Scribbling

Another bad week

My writing journey hasn’t been moving along all that well lately. I have been blocked, sleeping through my usual writing time or part of it and then unable to write anything when I’m at the computer. Even blogging has been a painful process. I actually feel physically sick trying to think about writing a post.

I think I understand why I am blocked. And I had thought that with that realisation the problem may just slip away. Not yet. The problem is, I think, that I have taken on too much. Pushed my goals to unreachable and it has killed my creative thinking.

Firstly, I was so keen after my workshop with Fiona McIntosh that I pushed my first draft word count up by 50,000 words. The problem being that I didn’t extend my draft deadline. The process nearly doubling my daily word goal.

Secondly, I am plagued with images and ideas for another story, which is pulling me away from where I need to be. And it I would like it to be a big story (over three books) and that worries me too.

I have just started my Masters in Arts (Writing) which is amazing and great, but more work and I am struggling with getting back into study and a different type of writing.

And lastly, to top it all off, I have been knocked about by the flu, again, draining all energy.

Over the last week with my study, I have been looking at the duality of the writerly self and the inner critic. I think the inner critic has taken over pushing the negativity and preventing my creative voice any air time at all.

I am trying some tactics to try and resolve the problem. I have revised my first draft deadline out and giving me an achievable daily word goal. I am allowing myself some down time to ensure I am well and truly over the bug. And I have negotiated with my daughter for some time on the weekends alone in the study.

A good night’s sleep and then a good hour writing in the morning and hopefully I will be back on track.

Happy Scribbling.

A Quick Note

I have had an amazing day in a workshop with fantasy writer Fiona McIntosh. It was a great oppertunity to learn from an experienced and well published author.

I learnt a lot and it has given me some good grounding and great tips for my current work. I am a little nervous about whether I can come up with three books. But I'm currently meeting my daily word goal and the story is moving along well so I may just do it.

She also had some great advice around getting published and how important it is to keep the audience in mind while writing.

I have come away refreshed and revitalised.

And a new idea is teasing me, and this one I'm sure I can write over three books.

Happy Scribbling.

Coming Unstuck

This week hasn’t quite gone to plan. I continued to struggle with getting words onto paper (or screen). I have still been making lists but it didn’t seem to be helping. I was ruminating ideas but not putting them down.

By the time I reached my writers group on Thursday night I hadn’t written anything and the pages I had tried to rework were disjointed and the scene started in third person, shifted to first person and then back to third, but another character’s point of view.

This is why I think writers groups are so important. We were a little light on the ground as half our number are attending a creative writing course, but the opportunity to share my work and talk about it was very helpful.  It is also helpful to listen to other writers, hear how they write, talk about what issues or problems or challenges they face.

I left the group feeling enthusiastic and recharged. And I have been writing. I am also more settled on the voice. I know what I am comfortable with and so that seems to work best. There are some plot points that need some work but I am happy at the moment to continue writing and let it work itself out.

I may have already mentioned that when I start writing I don’t write to a plan. I usually have a character or a scene in mind and the story builds from there. The overall plot is coming together with my fantasy draft as it moves along. But there are times when I write something and then wonder how it will resolve itself or end or connect to another scene or character. I have found in the past that the characters can determine things for themselves. That is work out how the story should go.

So now that I am writing , I am going to just write and see what happens.

Happy Scribbling.

From Stuck to Unstuck

I have had a very poor week. I’m stuck. I have found it very difficult to get out of bed of a morning and cringe at the idea of facing the computer. I’m not even sure how it started, but it has lasted all week. I haven’t known where to turn to next and I haven’t written a word, well a creative word, at all.

Today I finally turned to a great book to find some solace and see if I could find something to help. The reference is Chapter after Chapter by Heather Sellers. And she is fantastic. But one of the key points in the chapter I turned to today was that what works for others may not work for you. It is important to find your own strategies for coming unstuck.

Sellers gives a range of options and within those there is room for personalising each strategy. One of the options she suggested struck a chord with me – make a list. I love lists. I find lists calming and helpful.

So where I couldn’t sit at the computer and work through ideas I have been standing at the kitchen door writing out lists of questions. In a way I was writing lists of ideas but I find them more useful when formed as questions.

These questions will then sit in my head, moving around and slowly working their way out to a solution. It all helps in moving from stuck to unstuck. Tomorrow morning when I sit down I will be able to think about one of the ideas that I questioned tonight.  And then I’m sure a scene or idea will start to form itself and the words will flow. And the day after and the day after that.

I’m quite excited now about sitting down in my study tomorrow morning. Now all I need to do is make a note so that the next time I get stuck it doesn’t take me as long to work out how to get unstuck.

Reading, Writing and Dreaming

I have missed reading so much. But one of the things about reading that I forgot was that it can take you away into a whole new world that washes away any care for the real one. Not that I have stopped operating altogether. I am still managing to get up every day and write, and feed the kids and send them to school. But every chance I get I am picking up the book and disappearing into someone else’s world for a time.

Here is the current state of my bedside table, or at least how it looked yesterday morning. The pile of books I have purchased or borrowed over the last few months but too busy editing to read.

And then there is my current library book.

I am attending a workshop at the end of the month and wanted to read something of the author that I will be working with. Then a supposed friend, who came around last night arrived with three more books (they aren’t included in the photo). I have actually started a second pile. And I’m living in fear of passing a bookshop in case I feel the pull of another novel.

This reading is also feeding my creativity. It is certainly helping with some small problems I am having with my fantasy novel. The story is there but I am unsure about the best way to tell it. I am very comfortable with the first person, but not really sure if this is the best way to tell this story.

Part of the joy of a first draft is that I can do what I want with it. So as well as playing with different ideas, some scenes are in first person, some in third person, some in present tense and some in past tense. As I go I think it will work itself out what is best for the story and I can adjust the rest in the next draft.

And my vivid dreams are back. I had the rare opportunity to sleep in this morning, partly why this blog post is late, and I woke feeling both excited and scared. It was unlike anything I had dreamt before and very dark. The images have haunted me all day, and I have struggled to remember small parts that are no longer clear, such as conversations and instructions being screamed over the crash of waves. But some details that seemed small and insignificant at the time are more prominent now as I try to relive it.

A small white house in the distance sparked something later this afternoon. I have dreamt of it before. And in a very different story, with very different characters but it was the same house in the same place, with the same setting.

So as unsettling as the dream was, the house is calling for me to write it. It may be the place that needs to be written.

I wish I had whole days to write and read uninterrupted...but for the moment I am going to have to continue working out how to fit everything together. I think my best option is to try to go to sleep tonight thinking about my little house and see what happens next...

Happy Scribbling

Pictures of Inspiration

One of the blogs I follow recently suggested that pictures can be used for inspiration. That they spark an idea when you’re struggling. This post even suggested different places to find pictures and what you can access and use them for.

Now when I read the post I was having some trouble coming up with what I might write about this weekend. I have dived headlong into my fantasy draft and everything I do seems to revolve around something for that at the moment. But even though I am writing consistently every day and it’s moving along, I have moments where I think I am not going to be able to write all the words required to make it what I want it to be.

I have all the big scenes in my head and working towards paper; it's the bits in between that worry me.

I was taking some time to look over some of the completely unrelated to writing blogs and websites that I very occasionally visit when I came across an amazing photo. Before I could think about what I was doing, I had a scene forming in my mind and half a page typed out.

It is important to note that I wasn’t out looking for inspiration at the time, I just got lucky. I think we should try to experience a wide range of things because you never know where inspiration or ideas might strike from. And, of course, it depends on what you are doing or thinking about at the time.

It could inspire a scene, a story, a poem, a blog post, a painting or an article. Keep the mind open and enjoy. My scene came from three little spotty blue eggs in a glass bowl. I once wrote a short story inspired by one line in a country and western style song, and I don’t even like country music.

Happy Scribbling.

Group Discussions

I have become one of those people. You know the ones that seem to think anything is possible. Like the ex-smoker in a group that says you just need to stop.

I have been lucky enough to be asked to join a new writers group. I didn’t realise how much I missed talking with other writers and hearing what they are doing and writing. We are all unpublished and there is a mix of genres being written and of course different ways of going about that.

One member of the group, at our last meeting, read a first draft piece to introduce one of her main characters to get an idea from the group as to how it was working. It was great to talk it through, everyone had good ideas on ways to tidy it up and we talked about how she would use it, or whether it was a good exercise for her to develop more background on the character but that the actual piece itself may not end up in the final version.

I think with a first draft it is important to get the story down on paper and then rework. So this is where I turned into “one of those people”.

I asked how much of her story she had written down, and then suggested that if she gets the story down, she could work on the order, detail and so on later. She said she has the order and the plot quite well planned as it has spent several years moving around her head and taking over her thinking. But she has written very little of the story down.

‘But you want to write it.’

‘Yes, but I don’t have time.’

‘Just an hour a day?’

Here she scoffed and it was driving home that I realised we can’t put our own ideals and goals onto others.

She wants to write her story but she needs to work out herself the best way to do that. I should have suggested 10 minutes a day. Everyone can find 10 minutes and then build on that. An hour really does sound daunting when we have so much else happening in our lives.

I have recently decided that writing is what I really want to do above all else. I still need to spend time with my family, go to work and the gym, and do some housework. But if I want to be a writer then I need to fit writing in too. I get up early to get that writing time every day.  And sometimes if I’m really lucky I can get some more time of an evening or weekend.

But just like kicking the smoking habit, just because I can do it doesn’t mean everyone else can too or in the same way. We each need to work out what is best for us, and the best way to get that. And tt is worth noting that another member of the group also gets up at 5am to spend a quiet, uninterrupted hour writing. At least I know I am not alone.

Happy Scribbling

Whoahoo...

Finally it is done. Finished. And complete.

I'm not sure that it is really any good. But it's done.

I finished entering the last of the corrections this morning. Only a couple of days behind schedule, which is not too bad given the number of years it has been a work in progress.

Next step is to try and get it published...a very scary thought.

And it also means I can start reading other people's books again. I am keen to dive into the pile of novels beside the bed.

And start drafting and creating again by getting back into my fantasy draft.

Just as soon as I stop jumping about.

The Perfect Writing (Head) Space

I have found my perfect writing environment. Actually I have been using it for some time but it was only recently that I realised how well it did work. My writing habits slipped momentarily to writing of an evening, but they are back to mornings. And sometimes if I am very lucky I get to write both of a morning and an evening.

My body seems to have realised that morning time is best for me and my eyes spring open three minutes before my alarm goes off. They do this every morning, weekend or week day. The number of times I press the snooze button is dependent upon a combination of how tired I am and how cold it is outside the covers.

When I do get out, and it’s usually only 10 to 20 minutes after the alarm does go off, I go straight to the study and turn on my heater. Then make tea and back to the study. I find that as soon as I sit down at my desk I am ready to write, or edit as the case has been lately.

It only occurred to me how effective my space was when I realised how productive I was for that hour. When I thought about it, there was no lead up time, no fiddling with pens, trying to find motivation. It was all there in my routine. And I do sit and work.

The only delay to all of this is how long it takes me to get out of bed. The earlier I get up, the more time I have. If I managed to get out as soon as my alarm went off I would have a full hour and a half before the morning madness starts. The getting dressed, finding school shoes and library books, packing bags and lunches and making sure I don’t walk out the door in my slippers.

There was a time I couldn’t settle, I would be up and down and my brain would not engage. I even wrote myself little notes to help motivate me of a morning (see kitchen door). Now it seems so easy. I just had to work out my place and routine. And now that I know I can, I think I can do it anywhere I need to, or want to. The procrastination monster doesn’t even get a look in.

Happy Scribbling

So Close

I can see the end and so I spent my usual blogging time on the weekend editing. And then I went out to a poetry reading. It is not usually the type of thing I get to, other writers reading their work and I did enjoy it. But I didn’t read any of my own work even though some of those I was with did.

One of the guest writers was presenting her newly released memoir and the other read his poetry focused on the body. At a forum like that I love the variety; that everyone has written something so different, that they see the world differently and then how they express their version of the world.

But I can’t seem to focus on much of anything outside of my editing at the moment.

I promise a better update next week and hopefully good news.

Happy Scribbling

Walking to the Beat

I walk to work. Not all the way but I do park at least one and a half kilometres from the office and walk in. I was using this time to listen to the music I don’t usually get to listen to and improve my overall fitness. Since I have started a fairly regular routine at the gym my fitness has improved greatly and I cover the distance in less and less time every day.

The music helps as I find I start walking to the beat and so it keeps me moving along. As it has grown colder in the last few weeks I have found it too difficult to try and untangle my headphones and flick between songs with my gloves on. So in the last few weeks I have travelled without music and instead listened to the traffic and sounds of the street as I walk.

Using the senses to enrich our writing is very important and it’s something I have discussed before. But I have rediscovered the importance of hearing for myself again and so I wanted to share.

We hear so much without really thinking about it. On my usual trip there are several places I have to stop and wait for the traffic lights to cross the road as I am travelling in the same direction as the traffic. But with my hearing unobscured I can hear when there is a lull in the traffic and can then check before crossing the road. Probably not the best example to share, but it shows how hearing can make a difference.

All noises are important and can give a real sense of place. One morning last week I could hear the click, click, click of a cigarette lighter. Someone standing in doorway to get out of the wind while they tried to light up. With the sound I could picture the small wheels turning and the flint trying to catch. Then I started to think that one sound can take you away somewhere.

It took me to a party in my youth when we all seemed to smoke. The guys used to fiddle with my lighter so when I went to use it there would be this amazing (and scary) huge flame. Then I would have to track down the one guy I knew would fix it and that quiet, intimate time laughing over the silliness of it while he tried again to show me how I could fix it myself.

It reminds me how many stories are out there. Just that one sound started so much moving around my head that I will try now to focus more. Of course there are the cars and trucks zooming past, all making different noises, some with music so loud I don’t need my own music.

There are the people you pass on the street. The snippets of conversations, phone calls, clicking of heals, thuds of a runner. And then of an evening when I walk back to the car, in the dark, there is a whole new range of noises.

It also reminds me to make sure I use sound in my writing. What sounds did you hear today? Maybe tomorrow you could head out, sit somewhere noisy and listen to the world. Then imagine where it might take you.

Happy Scribbling.

Another Productive Week

I have had another productive week. My editing is moving along quickly but also reasonably well. I’m making sure that I’m not rushing the process but putting in the time to make sure I get it finished by my deadline. And so far I’m ahead of schedule. Although saying that I am coming up to some difficult chapters that need re- working.

When I finished the chapter I was working on this morning I was feeling somewhat apprehensive about the following chapters. All the little changes that I have made along the way now mean that the next two chapters need more than a little changing. And I couldn’t work out how I was going to do that.

I took some time out, did a little housework, took a shower, and it all started to come together. So I spent a little more time making some notes on where I wanted to go and now for tomorrow’s editing session I feel confident and a bit excited. Having to rewrite two chapters is going to slow me down a bit, but I want this to be right.

I have somehow in the last week shifted my work patterns. I am usually freshest and work best first thing of a morning. But of late it has been too cold of a morning and very dark and my body is just not so keen to leap out of bed. I am making up the time of an evening and more easily than I thought I would.  I am happily spending one to two hours a day editing.

Despite my clear focus I am starting to think about future projects and future options. My fantasy story is still rattling around in my head and I hope to start work again on the first draft as soon as my current project is finished.  I am also thinking about some competitions, different writing opportunities and learning about Twitter. That seems much scarier than I thought possible but I believe it is important to continually learn so I am trying to look at it as a learning experience.

In the meantime it is still all focus on editing. They key is not to rush to the light I now see burning at the end of the tunnel.

Happy Scribbling.                                                            

Productivity and the Inner Critic

I have had a super productive week. I have been focused on my main project, the final edit of my manuscript and I am flying along. Some pages need very little attention and some need a whole lot. Part of the feedback from my readers was that too much fell apart for the main character so I am changing one of the relationships she has.

This has actually been an interesting experience and as I know what I want that relationship to be it hasn’t been too difficult. The rest of the editing  is making sure it works, correcting little errors, ensuring flow and that information doesn’t change from chapter to chapter (nothing worse than the protagonist’s main love interest changing eye colour half way through) and building on some aspects where there were small gaps or not enough description.

My only problem is the inner critic. When I am working on first drafts I am able to shut her out completely and ignore all she tries to tell me. It is a first draft after all, I just want to get the story down, and I can work on all the little details later.

But now I am focused on every word, every detail and every punctuation mark she is starting again. My main aim at this point is to make this manuscript as good as it can possibly be, to bring it up to a publishable standard. I hope . So in some ways the inner critic can help.

When she mutters “that really doesn’t work,” I know I need to re-write that section, or sentence, so that it does work. When she says “that doesn’t sound right,” I can read aloud and work out what does sound right.

It is when she starts to nag, the whining voice at the back of my head, “You know it’s never going to be good enough.”  

Then it is time to shut her out. Ignore the taunts and the worry she causes and concentrate on the pages in front of me. If I focus on her then all would be lost. I would just give up. Dump the pages and start something new. But then I would end up doing the same again.

Maybe this novel won’t be published; maybe it won’t be available in the local bookshops, its glossy cover with my name on it displayed for all to see.

But maybe it will...and I would much rather focus on that voice and that image. Otherwise we would never achieve anything.

Happy Scribbling

Fighting the Procrastination Monster...and winning

I am finding that the procrastination monster is looming again. But this time I am able to fight him off. I am thinking about cupboards, cleaning out the plastic cupboard, the laundry cupboard, the bathroom cupboard and even contemplated my chest of drawers. Thankfully I managed to catch myself before I got too carried away.

I even told myself that if I was that determined to reorganise and clean out the bathroom I could use it as a reward when I finish my editing. So despite little distractions pulling at me I have managed to sit at my desk (with my new lamp) and get some very productive work done.

The weather has been both a help in this and a hindrance. I find it difficult to keep motivated when it’s cold and raining day after day. My body also seems to need more sleep at this time so it has been a little difficult to get up of a morning. On the plus side I’m not able to get out into the garden so there is more time to be inside and writing.

At this point I am still confident that I can complete the edit by the set date. I’m also looking at this as good practice for deadlines set by publishers on re-edits. Fingers crossed that I get that far...

Happy Scribbling.

A Revised Life

It seems a little ironic that my last post was all about how well I was writing and how it was all coming together and then I haven’t done much of anything since. I don’t want to start with poor excuses. I was knocked over by a bug (the viral type) and really I didn’t feel too sick, just the sniffles and a cough. But it also drained all energy.

So very little was done other than what absolutely had to be to keep life ticking over, such as clothe, feed and bathe child, dropping and picking up said child from school and the day job. At the end of two weeks everything was a mess and I hadn’t even thought about writing, let alone done any. I didn’t even manage to pick up a book to read.

It then took another week for me to really feel human again. And then of course I started to feel guilty about not writing and stressed about the amount I wanted to get done. I find the more stressed I get about my writing, the less I do. So I have made some decisions to reduce this stress and thus increase the writing.

The first is to focus mainly on one writing task. The most important one at the moment is the editing of my first manuscript. This is because it is the longest project I have been working on and I can no longer justify to myself spending a further 12 months working on it. It needs to be finished and I have set myself an absolute deadline, in chalk, and now on the web...16 July 2011.

I know that this is achievable so my main focus is to achieve it.

I will continue to blog because I have found that useful and interesting and some small part of my ego hopes that I am reaching other writers and helping them...But I am going to reduce it to one blog post a week. Reduce you laugh, as I haven’t posted anything in weeks. My initial aim was three a week, so I think one for a while will keep me on track and means more time for my editing. I can always increase it as things change.

This year is slipping away quickly. How are your plans and goals going? Are they on track or needing reviewing?  I am hoping that by the end of July I will be ready for a big swing in my goal setting.

Happy Scribbling

Writers write

A great quote that I came across recently was “Writers write, aren’t they lucky?” I came across it on one of the many websites and blogs I check out. I haven’t been doing that so much lately, mostly because I am actually writing myself, but it is helpful to see what others are up to.

When I am writing, it helps me write. This may sounded a bit confused but I find the more I am writing the more writing I want to do and the more I get done. I also tend to forget that until I am back in a good writing rhythm and then I start to regret the time wasted not writing.

So at the moment with my daily plans and consistent writing actually happening, I am writing more when I sit down and I want to sit down and write more often. I am even sitting up, switching on the bedside lamp and picking up paper and pen as ideas flood my thinking in the moment I am drifting off to sleep. I find myself making one sentence notes on hair or clothing styles, ideas to be edited into or out of my manuscript, random words and even short and children’s story ideas.

I find writing very relaxing and my day job at the moment is so hectic I didn’t even take my sneakers off when I reached the office today. At the moment I am fairly emotionally exhausted by the time I get home, but after a little family time, sitting down and letting the words flow onto the paper, or screen, is actually very relaxing and very freeing.

It is quite often at that exhausted point I’m not sure I really want to start anything, and the computer and I start that glaring competition to see who will win but I usually find that it does help. Particularly with a first draft, I am not consciously thinking about how the story is working, or whether what I am writing today fits with yesterday’s scene. It is the words just flowing onto the page. And I find that very relaxing and surprising, I never really know what might appear until the words type themselves across the screen…In many ways it is like watching the story unfold from a distance and that is the main reason I love writing fiction.

Happy Scribbling.